Hey Wild. Excellent website. I've been a visitor to your website for quite a number of months. I have quite a story for you.

On April 25, 1999, I met a girl named Jennifer on the Internet. At the time, I was 19 years old. She was 18. Jennifer lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Michigan. We are a few hundred miles apart. Mainly, we began by talking online for a while in a chatroom which no longer exists. Sooner after that, we began using ICQ to communicate. I want to try to make this as short as I can but get to the point.

We got used to talking on ICQ almost every single night. Then we started getting closer to each other, as we realized we had so much in common. I wasn't dating anyone, and neither was she. It wasn't until about a year and a half later we started talking on the phone, writing letters to each other in the mail, sending gifts to each other, etc. At first the things were little, but we did it anyway. On August 7, 2000, I took a Greyhound bus from Michigan to her part of Pennsylvania, which was almost 20 hours long; a very tiring trip. When we saw each other for the first time, I stayed at her house, which in it lives her mother, brother, step-Dad, and three little kids that belong to her step-sister. They have these kids for reasons that don't need to be described to tell you my full story, so I won't get into that.

Anyway, I was only there until August 9. We had an excellent time with each other. Held hands, laughed with what we would talk about, and neither one of us couldn't have enjoyed ourselves any better. The first meeting went great. While I was there I also had a good time meeting her Mom, brother, and the kids. Notice I didn't mention her step-Dad; I'll get more into that later. He was very quiet and distant those three days I was there, and hardly spoke a word to me. So anyway, I came back home, and for quite a while we were sad because we weren't within each other's sight. At this point of our relationship, the LOVE part of it kicked in. Neither one of us knew when we would see each other again. So we went back to the usual "ICQ at 10:00 PM", every night. And when we would get on there, we'd stay on until like 1:00 to 2:00 the next morning. Not all the time, but most times.

Not much longer after I came back, she started making plans to want to visit here. She came here the same way I had went down there, a bus, on December 28 - January 3. For this being only the second time we had met, things went off better than the first. We were even closer to each other and got more on the romantic side. We knew where to draw the line, so neither one of us went near sex. But aside from that, she really enjoyed it here and got along perfect with my Mom & Dad plus my 8-year old brother. She described Michigan (since it was her first ever time to this state) to be very peaceful and quiet, and quite a difference compared to her everyday life. She would compare her place to be pure chaos, with the kids mis-behaving, and the way the people at work were, etc.

So we again, had an excellent time with each other. My parents enjoyed her company and my Mom thought she fit right in. She did the cooking and was an excellent cook. Made the best home-made pizza. So a couple nights later, we were back to our usual ways of keeping in touch mostly with our computers sending each other ICQ messages, and on occasion we would still call each other, send gifts, etc., until the first week in March to the 9th.

I went there for my second time via Greyhound again. Stayed longer this time, more like a week. We enjoyed spending time together, and we still felt very close and got even more romantic than the first time we did, but still, we did not have sex. She was fully aware that I was not ready for sex because I was at quite a young age, and I did not want anything to happen. She herself, admitted she was not ready either, but we went as close as we could without having sex. We still had our clothes on, but barely. That's how close we really were.

So we had a nice time again. I was also keeping her family company by talking to them about me and what I do here and stuff, while she was at work. I got along very well with her Mom, Grandmother, and brother, plus the kids. Her step-Dad, however, was pretty much the same guy he was during my first visit. I didn't let that bother me, as I had too much fun with Jennifer and her other family members. The week went by fast and once again, it was time for me to go back home.

She came back to visit me from July 9 - 13, 2001. We weren't any closer than the trip in March; the romantic part remained about the same, and we still had the same level of fun. Showed her around here some more, and she loved every minute of it. I had my old Sony Playstation in my closet and it had been sitting there in it's box since November of 2000, when I bought my PS2. She wanted to have it, and I told her I'd mail it out since I was quite the gentleman and wanted to see it to go to someone I cared deeply about. And here, Wild, is where it all changed so very quickly.

We were in love with each other, thought nothing could end it, and we had the perfect thing going on for us. I couldn't have been happier because I felt after being with her for what time I was with her, I thought I had found my other half. During our chats, she would talk about us getting married, having kids, etc. someday.

Here it goes. I was planning on seeing her for a third time, from September 4 - 10, 2001, only this time I was going to drive. On August 30, she got on ICQ and wanted to tell me something. She was rather slow because she didn't know how to word this. I had no idea what I was about to hear, and I was at the edge of my seat waiting for her to just tell me. She started out by saying that what she wanted to say I couldn't tell anyone. Her family, my family, her best friend, and people like that. I said okay, I won't. My Mom came in and looked at me and knew something didn't look right with me. So l ittle did Jennifer know, while she started telling me what she had been hiding from me, my Mom got in and watched. I didn't mind, because I didn't really think it'd be that big of a thing.

So to finally make her get started I helped by saying "I won't get upset.". She said that I would. So, she began to put down the words that shocked me to pieces. She said, "I felt like I was my step-father's mistress, and when I mean mistress, I mean it in every describable way.". She went on by saying that this lasted almost every night for 5 years, and sex was a main factor throughout that long period of time. I was like just sitting there with my mouth open loss for words when I heard this coming from her to me, but she felt it was time to tell me. Our relationship was at the point where if she would not have told me at this time, it would not have been right. It raised lots of red flags all at once, because she made it sound like it came to a sudden end for good only a WEEK before my first visit, August of 2000.

Well for one thing, it can't las t almost every night for 5 years, and then the next night and every night from then on have it come to a complete halt. That's not how it works. And she called this a little trivial thing, too, which again, made my jaw drop to the floor. Her step-Dad started doing this to her at a very young age, probably 13 or 14, and she did nothing about it. I'm telling you Wild, anyone with half a brain would have done the right thing and saw to it that he went to jail for what he did. Having sex with someone that young and especially for that long is a very serious issue, and he could spend anywhere from 20 years to life behind bars form doing what he did. It took her long enough to tell me about this, as she said she has wanted to tell me about this much sooner, but simply wasn't ready. She told her minister a while back about this deal, and actually talked him out of telling the cops. Also, the minister's wife found out, and she again had to talk her out of telling the cops.

Why she would act this way is beyond me. I never have known her to be like this, let alone live the life she lived at one point in her life, one of the roughest you could have lived. Who knows what else may have went on too. So anyway, this was about 5 days prior to when I was going to drive down to see her. I felt pretty sad after getting the complete story, but after telling my parents, they gave me quite a lot of advice. They were telling me things I wasn't even thinking of, so it made me look at this whole situation much differently than I first did. One of the things my parents said to me was to MOVE ON. I ignored Jennifer for the next few days, and waited until the day before I was going to originally leave, and I emailed her telling her I wouldn't come down due to what she had told me. I could not confront her step-Dad knowing what I recently found out. Not to mention I was disappointed in her for either allowing him to do it to her and/or for her to do it to him, call it a little trivial thing, and all that other stuff.

I had my Dad help me compose the email because he can be better at that kind of thing for me, which I appreciated. I made it short and simple. 5 sentences or less. I simply said I wasn't going to come down because of how it made me feel, and all that. It left a knot in my stomach that just would not go away. Which after she told me this, I was literally sick to my stomach and couldn't eat right for like 4 days in a row. It was one of those things that once I heard about it, the more disgusting I thought it was. And I couldn't get it out of my head. Well, she wrote back, and was pissed. She was calling me a jerk, and for what, you know? In the 2 1/2 years I have known her, she never got upset at me once. She expected me to take what she said, and just like her, sweep it under the rug and not think anything about it. An impossible thing for me to do, as I could never sweep something as serious as this under the rug and continue a relationship with her. I mean, if she' d either allow it to happen or do it with her step-Dad, who knows who else she'd have sex with. She could be doing it to the meter reader or the UPS man, for instance...lol.

If we would have been married and she was all to herself and one of these two kinds of people came to the house for example, she could take advantage of the situation, and knowing how a typical guy would respond, he might proceed in drawing near her and dropping his pants right on the spot. THANK GOD I WAS NOT MARRIED TO JENNIFER. To have that hanging over my head would be a living nightmare, which would have definately been hanging over my head anytime we would be apart. The question would always hit me (I just know it), "Who could she be having sex with now?". UGG.

I am one heck of a lucky guy here. But anyway, she was looking so forward for me to come down (for weeks), because she wanted to get our pics taken together professionally, take her Grandmother out to dinner, and we had more things planned. I was looking forward to going down as well (until I heard al l about this of course), and had for like at least a month or so. Started planning for this shortly after she left here in July. But I bailed out at the last second, and lost not one penny on this, as I never bought a bus ticket (tee hee) or I would have been lucky to have been able to get a refund (if I could have been eligable to even get a refund). I simply decided that based on my parents' advice and how I felt, it was time to move on.

There is somebody out there that is better for me, around my age, lives locally, and has lived a clean life. My job now is to find that individual, as I am in no hurry whatsoever to find her. If for some reason I can't manage to find that person, it won't be the end of the world for me. My life surely will go on without Jennifer, and it could surely go on by myself from present day until I reach old age if that's how it really does go. Oh well. If I never find my other half someday, I will still remain a happy, single person. I am glad I found out about this before the relationship we once held got to like a marriage-level or even beyond (kids).

There were times where I thought the two of us would marry each other someday. I'd have a pretty miserable life from that point on, if she would have waited to tell me this after the wedding. And there wouldn't be a thing I could do about it, either.

In closing, I feel bad because this was my first love and she has done so much for me as I have done so much for her, but I also feel good. I think that's a good way to feel at this point, and as each day goes on, it will just get better & better for me. And soon, I will think no more of Jennifer in my daily life, ever again. Especially if I ever happen to find someone else. I'll be thanking myself that I made the correct decision when it came to parting ways with Jennifer. This was quite a story, wouldn't ya say Wild?! Keep up the good work on your website. I will always be a visitor here. I tell anyone I can about you, too. I've even got a link to you off my web page!