THE RED FLAGS

The sad fact is, they could be lying to you.. The disadvantage to "shopping" on the net is you can't see what it is you're buying. Pictures can be old.. I've even seen some people use their Drivers License pictures, which, in a way, isn't really that bad since nobody ever takes great DL pictures. But, there's still plenty of room for dishonesty.. and it seems there's no shortage of people hoping you'll fall for their feigned sincerity and believe everything they tell you.

Look for inconsistencies.. It's important to remember, people who are honest will usually tell you up front what they look like. Sugar coating the truth isn't necessarily wrong, but lying about it ought to be a crime! No matter how much you like you on line or on the phone, nothing can get us past the shock of finding out you were lied to. Trust isn't something you get automatically, it's something we give you a bit of from the get-go.. good faith stuff. Once you lose that, trust has to be earned and you start at less than zero. Not good!

The Bare Necessities - Do They Got Em???

It ought to be a crime that we even have to consider this, but, sadly, it seems there are more people out there than one would believe who are looking for a meal ticket! Most of us have enough money to support ourselves, our families and take care of our responsibilities and little else. I can't count on both hands and feet how many men I've encountered on the net who are looking for a cozy situation that puts them in my home, living off of my income.. and are jobless! The RED FLAG should go up whenever you hear the words "I'm thinking about quitting my job". Chances are, they either don't have a job, or are about to be fired from their job. Stable people don't tell you they're thinking of quitting. They are NOT your soulmate, not enough of one, anyway, to be telling you they're displeased with their job. No, they're probably not looking to elicit your sympathy, they're looking for a way into your wallet. Run!!!

The Stuff You'd Never Think To Ask

I can't even believe I have to include this, and I'm sure as I continue to develop this site, there'll be so much more.. but yes, there are things you have to ask. If they tell you they have a house, it's not a bad idea to ask if it's really theirs! Unbelievably, there have been a few times where "his" house turned out to be his parents house, and his car was his parents..!! Ask, Ask, Ask!!! People who are honest and are having financial problems, and in this economy, it's pretty often, it's not uncommon that people will have difficulty. Nothin wrong with that. It's the dishonesty factor that gives us so much trouble! Ask them if they're solvent. What's wrong with asking a potential mate if they're solvent? Isn't this someone you're considering spending the rest of your life with? If they're not solvent, and they're honest, they will tell you so. Financial difficulty happens to everybody. If they tell you, honestly, about their situation, you go in eyes-open. If, on the other hand, they're in financial trouble and looking for a bail-out, they'll be completely thrown by this question and will likely be evasive. If you're even harboring a modicum of doubt as to their honesty about these issues, or they go to extremes to justify their position, should RUN!!!

There are no shortage of internet chat and personal sites where you can meet people. The sad fact is, when you're new to a chat site, you are a "newbie".. Like any other social hierarchy, you come in on the bottom rung and have to work your way into some groups. Most "chatters" are basically nice and will always talk to "newbies".. I can't stress enough how important it is when going into a new chat room BE NICE!!!. It's not hard to tell who the "regulars" in a chat room are. When they come into a room, everyone welcomes they, they are popular and often outspoken. They have been there for awhile, and they know who's who.. who to trust, who to avoid. They can be your best friends when it comes to getting pertinent information about the people who are hitting on you. But, if you come in with an attitude, call them names, or talk down to them, be prepared.. they may turn the jerks right on to you, or won't tell you when someone, even someone potentially dangerous, is lurking for new meat. Do not allow yourself to believe for one moment that there aren't dangerous people out there, people who could and would do you not only financial but bodily harm. The "regulars" in personal and chat sites know who these people are. Make friends, the "regulars" have NOTHING to gain by giving you information about these undesireables. If they wanted them for themselves, they'd have gotten with them already!! Don't allow yourselve to believe these "regulars" have ulterior motives for offering you advice or information. All of the people I've met, and I've made some great friends and acquaintances on the net, have usually my best interests in mind. I've been polite in new sites, and have gotten information that has proven invaluable.